Are you burned out with your skateboarding routine and not afraid of what others think? Consider Inline Skates? Are you ready for something different? Remember back in the ’90s When you clamped inline skates on your feet? Or if you can’t imagine that, think about what it might have been like if you strapped on a fresh pair of Rollerblades?
You practiced some of your most daring hockey moves, and found some smooth pavement. You basically achieved flight while on the ground. Considered poetry in motion, in neon colors and an oversize t-shirt, one that changed colors when you heated up (you had one of those?). You were performing a death-defying stunt .You were rollerblading and it was cool, well at least it wasn’t embarrassing unless you crashed into the back of a dump truck.
The history: in the early 1700s, in Holland, the great, great, great, great, grandfather of skate sports strapped a pair of spools to a clog and invented roller skating. History has forgotten his name, but Chotchkiemo will call him Axel Florian Bjorn because it means: Father of peace, Flowering, Bear. This misunderstood genius, Bjorn, like others of spectacular cleverness, was never truly rewarded for his brilliance.
Now to more modern iterations, Inline skates with a single row of wheels, have been around since 1980. The sleek cousin of roller skates, the deadbeat dad of skateboarding. Inline skates were first used by some of the most badass athletes, who often did not have entire sets of teeth: hockey players. These were people who strapped on pads and gear that never got washed and survived the pathogenic exposure.
The Rollerblade Saga
They first used skates called Rollerblades, which is the registered commercial name of a specific product despite becoming the common term for inline skates in the last century. As Rollerblades grew in popularity, additional manufacturers like Ultra Wheels, Oxygen, K2 and Alkali jumped on the neon bandwagon.
Fast forward to today. In many parts of the world, you can’t put on Rollerblades or inline skates. It’s like putting on a velvet tuxedo with a ruffled shirt design and a top hat or something. You’re making a spectacle of yourself, you’re different. But really, are you? Nope, in line skating is a proudly performed art which is returning to glory.
Inline Skating is Back From the Dead
Of course there are haters everywhere, as trolls abound in our culture and seem to multiply each year. The critic in the cheap seat or lawn chair may roll their eyes and grind their teeth as we suit up for aggressive inline skating. There was a joke people used to tell each other as the trend of roller blading seemed to fade out during the late 90s. The hardest part about rollerblading A.K.A inline skating is telling your family that you are choosing an alternative lifestyle; Substitute your own cruel punchline idea if necessary.
Here at Chotchkiemoto, we realize that inline skating is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a brave choice to be embraced and put on full display. Inline skaters are renegades brave enough to embrace the practice.
What we Tried : Hockey Model: Official Product Test 2021 Alkali 5
We chose a preowned pair that could be purchased by a relatively thrifty individual in person at the local Play it Again Sports
These can be used by the entry level skater or a casual inline skater they have extra boots stiffeners and extra thick padding to ensure comfort and quality feel
Can not be found at inline warehouse But you can pick up a brand new pair for $85 from Alkali’s website
Our product tester strapped on a relatively recent model of the Alklali Revel 5 To make it as part of our article here we’re also going to do a product test. We’re going to bring your athleticism your grace and your grittiness to a whole new level inline skating is not dead it was asleep but now it’s back with a vengeance.
Results of the test
The Alkali 5 were manageable and pretty fun right away. If you have in line skate experience, you can make them work, otherwise it takes a little time to come to terms with the procedure. Slowing down and stopping is not easy, hockey stops were not possible for our tester, so he had to drag one skate sideways to slow down. All in all an excellent investment so far. Our tester experienced some wobbles while adjusting to the magic, so make sure to invest heavily in safety gear: wrist guards, knee pads, and of course a helmet is required.